Your Life is Hella Noir - 59'16"
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In creepy-as-shit news, a former student of mine was murdered last night (or the night before, depending on how your perceive time). This is a true story.
That said, I had already compiled this mix to help people live a life of high adventure in search of jewels and the solution to unsolved mysteries, and damn the nightmarish convergence!
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1. Reign of Kindo - "Thrill of the Fall" / This is What Happens (2010)
You are in an opening credits sequence; your life is fancy: you enjoy bourbon, Lucky Strikes, and fine broads with them curls. You've led a distinguished life and now you're retired, Detective Whoeverthefuckyouis — enjoy these technicolor titles while you still can.
2. Bjork - "An Echo, a Stain" / Vespertine (2001)
Chief calls you up, tells you to high tail it to the scene of crime. Which crime? Some crime. Oh, you want specifics, you needy bastard? John Doe, found dead on the steps of a building with a neon sign, his legs are missing and so are the contents of the briefcase splayed open atop his crushed head.
3. Rachmaninov - "Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32/10"
Something fishy in the air, but at least you got the dough to put yourself up in some swank digs. You're sorting your thoughts in the lobby, gettin pissed so you can forget the image of that legless stooge, when in comes one of those fine broads from the opening credits.
4. Wayne Shorter - "Speak No Evil" - Wayne Shorter (1964)
The two of you adjourn to a nearby club, where the booze is cheaper and a semblance of privacy can be found in the squall of a saxophonist's soloing.
5. Stan Getz & João Gilberto - "Corcavado" - Getz / Gilberto (1964)
The band cuts to a different tune and so does the broad, saying oh mister oh mister you gotta solve a thing, my brother's a mess, he's in over his head, and oh no oh no mister, I'm afraid. She passes you a note then excuse me I have to powder my nose in the ladies room.
6. Fela Kuti - "Monday Morning in Lagos" - Expensive Shit / He Miss Road (1975)
On some wild goose chase as always, Detective. How'd you find your way all the way out here, halfway across the Earth, searching for a man with no name and the contents of briefcase that may never have existed?
7. Deftones - "Passenger" - White Pony (2000)
Trouble always finds you, instead of the other way around, and of course you got kidnapped dummy. At least they gave you some drugs.
8. Dirty Projectors - "D. Henley's Dream" - The Getty Address (2005)
But why mescaline? How's that supposed to benefit the situation? What's Don Henley doing here? What's he got to do with that dead body you can't seem to forget? Can't they drive any slower? You start to vomit.
9. dredg - "Traversing Through the Arctic Cold We Search for the Spirit of Yuta" - Leitmotif (1999/2001)
Who knows how long you were out, but your mouth tastes rancid, and goddammit they seem to have left you in the desert. You're thinking about how strange it is that the desert is actually the coldest place you've ever been, when a man pulls up astride what looks to be Llama but you were never good at naming animals because fuck zoos.
10. Big Wreck - "Overemphasizing" - In Loving Memory of (1997)
Coulda sworn there was supposed to be happy ending somewhere, but then the ending credits just snuck up and bit you in the ass. You get home, depressed as shit, thinking about writing existentialist fiction and quittin the liquor because it never did you no good. Sure as shit ain't gonna answer no phone calls from the chief.
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